Clusterfuck
by ChaosViper
Summary: This silent back and forth. This sinful game. Both know how to play, but how do you win a game with no rules or penalties? Part two of a gift fic for the wonderful Wodalzz llama, because it's her birthday or something. Song title inspired by Electric Six.
1. Chapter 1

I had long since decided to damn all skirts (plaid or otherwise) and the tight white asses in them to an eternity in the fiery pits of hell. Nothing good can come from ogling two small, perfect, tight, round, squeezable glutes encased in velvety fabric. Absolutely nothing.

Every time she catches me looking she blushes. Every time I've tried to touch it's resulted in my cool face meeting a not-so-cool fate at the proverbial hands of a hardback copy of _War and Peace_. Every time I try to apologize, I fumble and stare again, and we're back again at square one, with her flustered and angry, and me red-faced and fumbling for my dignity.

I swear it must be the shorter skirt. At least the plaid _thing_ was partially covered by long black coat. Her ass and my eyes rarely made contact with one another. It was as it should be. Her obsession with modesty protected both my wandering eyes and my Johnson from becoming overly noticeable. As a cool dude, the classic pitched-tent in the pants look is so overdone and out of the style that I just couldn't bring myself to lower my fashion standards. And it was so easy.

Until she decided to test the limits of my manhood by filling out, becoming more feminine, and flashing my field of vision with random and intermittent glances of the woman she'd been hiding underneath.

The change in wardrobe was the first kicker. Force the normally-conservative and shy girl into a shopping spree at the behest of Kid's stolen credit card, and it was as if the floodgates of fashion had been torn wide open. Suddenly, the world of Victoria's Secret and Macy's became known to her, literally overnight. Partially on my behalf, and partially due to Liz and Patty's incessant goading that she "buy something sexy" in order to "drive him crazy," my little meister – my thoughtful, sexy, impressionable, wonderful, horrible, sinful meister – decided that she needed some new underwear, skirts, and more revealing tops in order to ensure that my lower jaw never again reached higher than ground level.

Vacuuming. Now officially my favorite sport to watch. Not on the television, mind you, but right in my own living room. I thoroughly enjoy seeing her bent at the waist, back parallel with the ground, ass slightly in the air, attacking those nasty dust bunnies under the table, with that enticing blue skirt flashing me just a hint of the white panties that Liz insisted behind Maka's back were intended "just for you." Apparently she does keep secrets, because I have yet to gain access to such sacred ground as the inside of Maka's legs. Or the outside, for that matter. Those long, slender, pale, muscular, tight, sexy legs that make a scythe just want to grip the inside of those maddening thighs and force them open so I can stick my _face_ in her…

But I digress. Maka. Vacuuming. As good as it gets for the party in my pants. At least until she decides to stand on a chair to get the grime high above the drapes. Then my drawers are host to a full-blown disco rave complete with pounding tunes and colorful glow sticks. The invitation to this kind of samba is simply too much for any man to resist. I take the bait.

* * *

It's become quite apparent to me that Soul likes the new approach I've taken in my appearance. Liz insisted that no 17-year-old girl should still be wearing the same bras and skirts that she's worn since she was 12. I admit that I was ready for a change. But the problem was money. I didn't have a job, so I didn't make any. Fighting kishin and making Soul a death scythe were both full-time jobs by themselves, and my number one priority until the demon Asura was brought to his knees.

Not a problem, Liz insisted. Pulling out her wallet, she presented me with the key to the city, as it were. A platinum-embossed, freshly-activated, low-interest-rate-with-no-annual-fee credit card from the appropriately-coined Death City Community Bank. Complete with creepy skull face on the front of the card, reminiscent of a certain double gun-wielding meister's father present on the logo. Oh, and also his name.

How the hell she came upon Kid's credit card, I suppose I'll never know. Liz refused to elaborate, and I didn't question. Especially when loaded with armfuls of clothing, dragged by the collar into the nearest dressing room, and stripped down completely to try on the latest line of bras and p-p-panties from Victoria's Secret.

"Hey, watch where you're touching, Patti!"

"Sorry, Maka…but you look so adorable in red!"

"I look like a cheap hooker!"

Liz patted my head thrice and pulled the itchy tag out from the back of the bra, her nails tickling the space between my shoulder blades and sending an abrupt shiver up my spine.

"Maka, you have a lot to learn about what men like. Don't you think Soul would like this, Patti?"

She giggled an enthusiastic, "Uh huh!" and immediately went back to drawing giraffes on the dressing room mirror with a sample of designer lipstick. Purple was not a color I would imagine for someone's lips, but they seemed to make attractive-enough quadruped mammals for Patti's tastes.

Liz's question sent a blush straight to my face and a wave of moist heat straight to my loins. I couldn't imagine Soul seeing me in anything less than a blanket at that moment. A very thick blanket, with only my head visible so that he didn't get any ideas.

"I-I-I don't give a damn what Soul thinks!"

"Right. That's why you're blushing. And why your nipples are pointy."

Oh good lord.

"Let's make her try this one on next. Soul might like the lace. Is Soul a lace man, Maka?"

"H-h-h-how the hell should I know?"

"We might have a problem here. Hold her down, Patti."

A busty blonde projectile soared down at me from the top of the stall where Patti had been hanging like a giggling ape. "Okay!"

I became the guinea pig for a variety of different underwear sets that afternoon. It didn't help that neither Liz nor Patti gave a flying fuck about my modesty, and by the end of the shopping spree, I had blushed all the red right out of my pores hours ago. Safe to say, I felt eager to get home to Soul, and to my bedroom, where I could forget the embarrassing events of the last few hours and pretend I hadn't been at all molested by two would-be-lesbians, because according to Liz, Kid had already been in both their pants long ago, much to my virgin ears' dismay.

* * *

I was originally going to take all the items back when I was sure neither Liz nor Patti would follow me. That was the plan. More than $500 on designer underwear and other articles was way too much to spend on clothing, and I figured I'd be doing Kid a favor by _not_ going over his credit limit.

Save one skirt. Because it was light blue and pretty and comfortable. And I actually thought I looked rather good in it. It was tighter than the skirts I normally wore, but of all the things I'd been forced to purchase over the past 24 hours, it was the one thing I could actually see myself wearing in public.

Oh, and maybe the white underwear. Because that was safe territory, and Liz and Patti had been nice enough to allow me a few articles of _normal_ underwear among the plethora of sleazy pieces that I refused to be caught dead wearing. Especially by Soul.

But no. All that other stuff. Nuh-uh. Had to go immediately.

Soul seemed to like the skirt, too. At least, that was the impression I got when he just wouldn't stop staring as I cleaned the apartment. In fact, his eyes meticulously followed me around the room carefully and quizzically, as if her were trying to size me up, and determine this was in fact really his meister that was vacuuming the carpet.

I pride myself on being able to detect and read the souls of others like the pages of an open book. I can also detect emotions and intentions along with the nature of people's spirits, but I didn't realize how adept I'd become at sensing where Soul's attentions lie at any given moment. More than just his eyes drilling holes into the back of my head, I could literally feel his red orbs as they moved up and down my form, and I blushed profusely when his gaze lingered for a moment on my butt, as if trying to peer through the fabric itself and catch a glance of what lay hidden underneath.

In the midst of my embarrassed stupor, I found myself incredibly flattered at the same time. Soul had rarely taken an interest in me before, at least not without trying to hide it immediately upon the realization that he'd been found out, but now he wasn't even trying to keep up the cool act. All the barriers were down, and it was as if he was trying to make himself noticed. He could easily hide his soul's wavelength from me by matching his own to meet mine and that would be the end of it. Instead, I felt him slowly reach out, letting me know that he knew that I knew he was watching me like a hawk. It was like a silent dare to get me to do something – anything – to let him know that the interest was mutual.

I accepted his attentions, and made one motion of my own. Dragging a chair over to the living room drapes, I placed it directly in front of the couch where he was sitting. Standing on top of it, I made to use the extension tool on the tip of the vacuum to suck up all the dust and dirt on top of the curtain mantle. A perfectly valid excuse for weathering the height of a chair. A completely normal thing to do, hiding under its guise more malevolent and teasing intentions.

I could sense when he caught a glimpse of my underwear. I couldn't help blushing more when I felt his soul spike with my ability, and reaching higher to _extend my reach down the mantle, yes, that's all I'm doing_, my skirt was lifted higher until I was sure he could see everything with absolutely no trouble at all.

The problem with white cotton panties is that when they get wet, it's easily noticeable. Especially when it came to these special pieces, made of the finest, thinnest material money can buy. Pay twice as much, get half the fabric. A quite confusing concept. However, by this time I was sinfully moist and flustered despite my housekeeping guise, and it immediately became apparent when Soul _noticed. _Oh god, he _noticed_. He could see….

I suddenly lost my composed demeanor. The blush came back full force at the realization that he could likely _see right through them_, and I suddenly recognized that this game of wills and personal control had become increasingly dangerous. We'd teased each other before, but never to the extent that I could literally feel his need to jump me like a prime rib well done. Also, I couldn't guarantee that I'd be able to resist his advances, either. Thankfully, Soul had the foresight to save me from it.

"Maka!"

Turning to face him slowly, still mounted on the chair, I used all of my power to force back the blush I knew was evident. Red, red, go away, come again another….never!

Forcing the contents of his hand into my face, an empty crinkly bag that conveniently hid his face from my view, I silently exalted and thanked him one thousand fold for the distraction from making a complete and total slutty fool of myself.

"Chips!"

"Y-yeah."

"Should I grab the bike?"

I shook my head. I needed the feel of wind in my face to get my libido back on track. The cold air would quickly spay the horndog I had become.

"Let's fly?"


	2. Chapter 2

A cold day in February racing through the sky at a steady, speedy clip should logically shrink any guy's balls to marbles in a matter of mere minutes. Logically. But then, when did anything in this hollow city follow any sort of predictable logic? An ancient god of death employed as both mayor and principal over a group of students that could turn into inanimate objects in order to fight demons that when reduced to mere eggs took on the form of fiery red floating balls of sperm gas that I can then eat in order to halt their reign of madness over the Nevada desert and the rest of the world as we know it? Yeah, makes perfect sense. Gives the term gut-wrenching a whole new meaning.

Despite my rather awkward and confusing momentary mind theater, it still wasn't enough to fully distract me from the ever-increasing realization that Maka was literally _sitting on my head_ as we flew. With those white panties that she had just soiled in front of me while I _watched like an inexperienced little fucker without a clue_ pressing warmly against the cold steel of my shaft and making me _squirm like a bitch in heat _within the confines of my own private paradise beneath her in flight, where the simple sensation of that moist fire makes me want to throw her to the ground and have my way with those soft round…nngghh…..and….

"Soul, what are you doing?"

"Nothing, Maka."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Beats me?"

"I will if you're looking at my panties again."

"Wha-buhguh….graaah! Woman! You were the one that teased me like the little vixen that…."

"Don't say it!"

I shut my mouth for only a moment, because otherwise she'd pull the blushing embarrassed crap again and we'd never get anywhere. Or we would, and she'd just pummel me when we got home. At the moment the latter didn't seem to be a bad thing, considering an angry Maka could always get me going in the best and most delicious way possible. I doubt it has anything to do with my weapon abilities, but I have an awesome sense of smell, and when she's hot and angry her body sends out the most damn alluring scent in the world, sort of like pheromones or liquid fire or spices or cinnamon or cookies or….something that just drove me to hell and back crazy stupid.

Like now. Right now. Right this second she smells amazing. It's only a hint because she's not really enraged, but I always have a hard time keeping myself from making her even _more_ angry when she gets like this. Because if I can just push her buttons, escalate what makes her tick, get her so peeved at me that she'd have to drive the book home to my head, at that point it all becomes worth it just for the ungodly magic perfume that emanates from between her legs. The long ago realization that making her mad makes her horny has got to be the most revolutionary discovery unearthed by modern man. Making me the world's best paleontologist, because I could totally excavate the depths of her cunt canal for more buried treasure if she would just…

"Soul!"

"What?"

"Weather vane!"

"SHII-!"

An abrupt jerk upward allowed us to clear the obstacle with ease. I silently praised myself and my magic reflexes, while at the same time berating my flighty attention span for getting so off course (no pun intended) and resulting in a near collision with something that shouldn't even be there in the first place (seriously, who needs a weather vane anymore?)

My self-berating was short-lived as the most alluring tingle made itself known through Maka's end of the spirit link. It sent the most forceful splash of fire to my face and loins as a raging blush covered my entire form, inflaming my pores like a wildfire come to life. I hadn't realized that she'd moaned before, but the second time she did it could not go unnoticed. She had lost all control of her part of the link, as if something had caused her to lapse momentarily and she forgot how to hold up her end of the channel. The backlash from it was having an effect on me, as well. I felt hot, heavy, and disoriented, but it was only for a moment until she was able to grasp hold again.

We had stopped moving and were currently hovering in midair over the outskirts of Death City. Her breathing was ragged, as if she'd just finished a long race, and I could feel her heart racing through the vibrations in my blade. I transformed a part of myself to resemble my face so that she could hear me clearly and see the concern etched into my features.

"Y'all right?"

Her face was also red and flushed, but she nodded and giggled her seeming loss of control away like it was nothing. I knew better, but I wasn't an expert at reading her yet in this form, so I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was my partner, after all.

"I'm fine, Soul, just…scared me a bit, that's all."

"You're sure?"

"Definitely."

She repositioned herself on top of me so that we were no longer directly touching between her…..um….lower extremities, and reached through the channel in order to regain control of my soul's wavelength and steer us home. Instead of straddling my shaft with legs on either side of me like she normally would, she attempted to sit on her knees on top of me. It would be obvious to anyone that this was not going to work, especially since her knees continued to fall to the side and she ended up straddling me anyway. Still, it was obvious her embarrassment from earlier was forcing her to come to some solution about how to travel on me and keep her naughty bits as far away from me as possible.

"What the hell, Maka…."

"Nothing!" she shouted red-faced and flustered. "It's better like this!"

"You're going to fall, idiot!"

"No, I won't. See-whaah!"

She nearly toppled to the side as once again her right knee slipped and pitched her forcefully to the side, and I quickly transformed my arm and grabbed her leg before she fell careening down to Earth and ruined someone's porch with her impacted innards and blood hitting the dry earth.

"Stupid, do it right!"

"Just give me a minute…."

Next she tried to crouch on her feet on top of me, with one foot placed in front and the other in rear of her huddled form. While much more stabilizing than her knobby knees, this position proved to be much more difficult to maintain. I could feel her straining her leg muscles to keep herself clear above me, but after about ten minutes, a definite sigh of defeat was heard and the weight of her body once again settled on top of me, where it should be.

"Weren't we supposed to be getting chips?" I remarked half-jokingly, but the resulting scowl in my direction made me sigh, but not in total and complete defeat.

"You're gonna have to get over this embarrassment thing, Maka, or start wearing pants," I told her matter-of-factly. "This is the best way to do it, and it's how we trained in the first place. No point in fixing what isn't broken. Unless you've sprung a leak down there. " I grinned profusely.

"I'm not embarrassed! Or….leaking!" she exclaimed, her rosy red complexion a blatant contradiction to her previous choice of words. "You're just a pervert!"

"Wha-mother fucking...! You were the one who-!"

"I said to shut up about it!"

My entire upper half came out of transformation in order to give her the arms-crossed-over-chest-stern-expression-of-death look that she hated so much.

I met her green orbs with my red ones and said perhaps a tad too forcefully, "You seemed to have no problem showing off your wet and dripping pussy to me earlier when you-"

Two hands rushed to cover my mouth before any more words about her bodily mishaps could escape into the world around us. Her face contained an expression of absolute frigid horror and panic as she forced her entire body's weight into obtaining the ultimate goal of making me _shut up_. I grinned behind the fingers and lapped my tongue out to dance between her digits covering my mouth, which resulted in said hands being wrenched away a millisecond later at the feeling of my wet oral muscle teasing the skin of each one.

"Y-y-you-you licked me!"

I sneered at my meister with the most evil and slimy grin I could muster. "Yeah. You liked it. Just like you liked me doing _this_ earlier."

I jerked myself upward in midair, sending the broad side of my shaft to bury itself into the folds of her womanhood directly through her underwear, rubbing against her clit deliciously. She yelped and moaned, hanging on to my still-human shoulders until her nails left large scratches and welts in my skin there. But I didn't care. I did it again, and once more after that for good measure. She was putty on top of me, and leaned forward until the top of her head was buried in my exposed chest, trying to regain some composure so that her mouth could actually form words once again. Just as before in our apartment, her panties were soaked, and this time I could feel it drenching the metal of my shaft, warm, wet, and deliciously fragrant.

"That scent," I began. "It's so intoxicating, Maka…."

She wrenched the air for breath, swallowing hard. "I...I think we need to go home."

"Why?"

Through the brain haze, she managed to question me only momentarily until I sank and disappeared once again inside my weapon form, only to reappear seconds later beneath her place of utmost desire.

"Soo-oouulll…?" she whined when my nose made contact with the moist heat of her snatch through the fabric of her snowy panties. The sound seemed questioning, inquisitive, and a bit confused. And like extremely hot music to my ears. My arms emerged and came up to wrap around her thighs, pushing her womanhood down further into my face, while at the same time lifting her thigh a bit to keep her from completely crushing me in the process. She gripped what remained of the floating shaft for dear life, afraid to let go lest she fall, which was a very real possibility if I wasn't extremely careful and precise about these particular acrobatics.

I would not let her fall, unless it was in love with me. So that I could hear those suppressed cries and whimpers of pleasure like this every day for the rest of my life.

"S-Soul! Stooopp…." She made an attempt to pull away when my tongue made contact with her flesh through the fabric. With feet dangling over the precipice toward eternity and nowhere to place herself on solid ground, she was at my mercy hundreds of feet in the air above all creation. When I moved the fabric of her panties aside and the first initial touch of my tongue made contact with her clit, all hell broke loose as she frantically began attempting to push me away, sliding further and further down my scythe shaft. It was a feeble attempt, because she was sitting directly on top of me. I followed her down my entire length, never once letting up on the personal torture that she was undoubtedly going through. There was nowhere to go except down, and I'd already sworn to her through the link that I wouldn't let her fall.

"Don't run away, Maka," I challenged. "Feel me. I'll show you what it really means to fly."

My tongue, teeth, and lips began their work on her wonderful pussy. She continued to make delectable noises above me, and this time began grinding herself into me _hard_. In order to save my face from her frantic smashing and rubbing, I pulled away momentarily only to send a violent, vibrating hum through the entire length of my shaft and blade. Almost immediately I felt the change in her. She no longer had my tongue down there playing with her pleasure center, but it was quickly replaced by my hand as I reappeared before her once again, my entire upper body providing the support she needed to ride out the new vibrant sensations I continuously sent down my blade and directly to the spot where we touched. I dropped my lips to meet hers as she rode my length in wild abandon, clit rubbing and grinding against hard steel sending her down a road of epic euphoria that I was sure she had never experienced before. I hummed into her mouth, kissing her passionately as the same vibrations in my shaft finally sent her teetering over the edge.

"Maka….Maka…." I voiced in-between parting kisses. "Fuck…you're so cute, Maka…."

Perhaps it was the sound of my voice that sent her over the edge, but her hands gripped my shoulders and back like a vice, and she cried out into our joined mouths as she came. I was in awe at the sight of her juices dripping off the bottom of my length and down onto the world below. At the initial release of energy from her exhausted body, we were forced to land on a rooftop in order to prevent ourselves from careening into another building at her abrupt loss of control over me in the air. I had never before seen her so spent. Not that I was complaining or anything. The fact that she asked me to carry her back home, chip-less yet still satisfied and not threatening my life in any way, made me have to classify this day as one that I would gladly live over a thousand times or more, if it meant I could see the way my meister's eyes sparkled in the middle of glorious rapture once more.

She was slightly pissed at me later because of the holes left in her new panties by my teeth. All was forgiven, though, when I promised to do it again sometime soon. _Very _soon, preferably. However, she swore on her mother's honor that I would pay tenfold for my little stunt high above Death City. Even if it meant she could never show her face in public again, she made a solemn vow to not rest until I was brought to justice for my brazen crime against her sexual purity.

The only thing I could think to say was….Bring it!

**"Cunt canal" courtesy of Marsh of Sleep. Because I'm a no-good thief who can't resist using crazy and crude innuendos to make the readers LULZORZ.**


End file.
